Worst excuse ever?

Yesterday one of my seniors walked into class and presented me with a handwritten, one-page "book report" on notebook paper. Keep in mind that I require that the report is typed AND that this kid's report is already two days late.

"Hey, I'm really sorry that I didn't get to type this," he begins. "I tried to get it done last period but couldn't."

Red flag #1.

"I was playing Sonic the Hedgehog..."

Red flag #2.

"...On my cell phone..."

Red flag #3.

"...But then I lost and had to go back to the beginning. The problem with that game is that when you lose your last guy, you have to go ALL the way back to the beginning, and I was on level THIRTEEN. It's really hard and I never made it that far before. So I had to go back to the beginning of the game..."

By now I'm biting my lip to keep from laughing about how serious he is.

"...And I was mad that I threw my head back and cracked the windowsill behind me."

My lower lip is quivering.

"So I broke the windowsill and now I have this big bump on my head and I couldn't concentrate to get my book report done because I've felt like crap since then. Here, feel my head."

But I can't. I'm too busy laughing.