Curse you, Bravo. Curse you hard.

I've been pissed off at the Bravo network since it turned Queer Eye into a weight-loss show over the summer. Now it will begin showing the entire series of HBO's Six Feet Under this fall.

Six Feet Under + prime-time network slot = guaranteed disaster. Here's why:

1) The weeknight public TV audience is too dumb for this show. I highly doubt that fans of Project Runway will be able to identify with the emotional complexity and intricate storylines of this series. Besides, it's like nothing else on TV right now. I don't see viewers flipping to SFU during Lost's commercial breaks.

2) The show wasn't made for network TV. It doesn't conveniently pause every eight minutes for a slew of commercials. When watched for a solid 55 minutes, the show captivates. It allows the viewer to think of nothing else for those 55 minutes. It's impossible to get lost in the characters' lives when the viewer is interrupted every few minutes. I think the commerical breaks alone might ruin the show.

3) Finally, censorship will destroy the show's emotional intensity. The show is necessarily violent; it's about a family of undertakers, for crying out loud. Every episode opens with the death of a different client, and I'm sure some of them are going to have to be edited for network TV. The show is violent, but in a realistic and diagetic way. It shows what death is really like, and it shows what people go through when loved ones are taken from them. Editing out the violence won't help audiences identify with what the characters are feeling. The same goes for the sexual content on the show. SFU contained some of the most graphic (and sometimes disturbing) sex scenes I've ever seen on a television screen, and there's no way 90% of it could be shown on TV. There were times when I thought the sex was overdone and unnecessary, but for the most part, it allowed me to observe the emotional and social development of the characters. It helped define the relationships among the characters. Without it, the show is going to be choppy and boring.

I apologize SINCERELY if I reminded anyone of Mr. Evans during this post.